Freely Free

Oh, the joys of being a free-lance agent! I'd hardly officially started working and I already felt as though I'm a ball, being bounced around.

The fact is, I can only accept assignments proper next week, because I have to help Joseph settle down at the childcare centre on his first three days. Orientation, they call it. Ha ha... more like "detachment drill" for the parents, I think!

So before I'm ready to say "Yes" to any job, I've circled around at least three "on-off" assignments. First, there was this medical conference whereby I'm to be the assistant to a surgeon. An aesthetic surgeon, to be precise. Hello, I've not done aesthetic surgery, and in a conference, no less, it sure sounded high-brow business to me. No way, I'm not about to bungle on my first job, however glamorous it may sound. I had to turn it down.

Then, there was this twice-a-week duty in the treatment room at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Okay, a comfortable pace for someone fresh from a homemaker's mould, I thought. A few days later though, I got a call to say the cosy arrangement's off, they've got something else for me. A two week posting in the Radiology Dept of Gleneagles Hospital. The only catch is, I need to start work on the last week of May. Hey, are we forgetting something here? How am I supposed to make that work out when my son is only starting his childcare in June? Ooh, these people at the agency are aggressive, that they are.

I had just got another call today. They've matched me to be research assistant in NUS for two weeks starting 5 June, where I'm required to do phlebotomy (blood-taking) and IV cannulation, besides the usual paper work. Best of all, it's office hours and I get the exposure of doing something I'd like to branch out in future, i.e. to be a research nurse.

Bear in mind though, the image of a freely bouncing ball. I wonder how tight this latest arrangement is going to turn out to be...?

Outing

Ugh, my pc is driving me up the wall! There's something wrong with it, but being the computer non-whizz that I am, I really can't help it "get well" in the slightest way. Anyhow, my dear "lao-gong" William, has called up Singnet because he said it's the modem going bonkers. So meanwhile, we're using our old modem, which thankfully wasn't thrown away when we first got that "super-duper" new one. I've not been able to upload pictures onto my blog since then, so I hope whatever help that was coming would really, well, help.

On Monday, I had brought Joseph to the library nearest our home. He was ecstatic on this first visit! No, not over the myriad of books he can get his hands on. He was merely hopping with joy (literally) to be able to roam free around the reading tables, between towering bookshelves, and over vacant floor spaces. I don't really mind, as he did not scream or shout, or cause any disturbance to others while checking out the joint. He did settle down eventually, for me to be able to read a short story (softly) to him. Then a small group of primary school pupils came to our little corner and Joseph decided to join them at their table instead. He squeezed himself between two of the students and grinned happily at them. Their initial surprise quickly turned into welcoming smiles and curious looks. One of them made a funny remark which set off the rest giggling, and Joseph unabashedly laughed along as though he knew what the joke was about; which made them laugh all the more, oh dear, what a din there was!

This Wednesday 24 May was my 3rd wedding anniversary. William took leave from work and we brought Joseph to Marina South Park. Joseph had a ball of a time there, as he alternated between running at top speed and strolling. Joseph seemed to enjoy the sea breeze when we got near the water. There was a tense moment during our outing though, when a stray dog wandered to where we were, in the middle of the park. It was a full grown female dog (I'm avoiding the "b" word because it will sound vulgar, in whichever way you try to say it). This she-dog looked in our direction as she advanced towards us, but her gaze lingered on Joseph.

I'm thinking, okay, so this dog must be familiar with adult human beings, but perhaps a toddler-sized moving thing is entirely new to her. Might she be eyeing Joseph as (~gasp~) a tasty morsel for dinner?!! Call me paranoid or whatever, I'm not about to stand idle and see if she's really gonna bite Joseph, as this she-dog boldly paced nearer and nearer. While we walked on, she continued to stalk us, and so, suddenly I turned around, faced this dog, bared my teeth and roared at it. I know it sounded like a silly thing to do, but it seemed to work, that dog slunk away and did not return. In any case, I did not plan to do that, it just sort of... happened.

I don't know if William was more surprised or amused by what I did, he just kept saying there wasn't a thing to worry about, wasn't he (a fit guy, who regularly trained) with us, that dog would never have had a chance to cause Joseph any harm. I just shrugged and said my mean roar did scared off that dog. That was when William laughed...

We later brought Joseph to the bowling alley. Being a weekday, it was quite empty except for two occupied lanes. William, on the spur of the moment, decided to play a game too, so Joseph and myself settled down to cheer him on. I was glad that Joseph did not run wild in that place, and I guess the credit should go to a friend we had brought along, Mr Cane. With Mr Cane out of the backpack and within sight, Joseph was constantly reminded of "its" presence, and displayed model behaviour. He kept within the vicinity of our lane and even clapped for Daddy when the pins went down. After each throw, Joseph would move quickly to where the bowling ball would pop back up again and eagerly held out his little hands in an attempt to lift it up. It was quite funny to see him do that repeatedly, and I was almost sorry to go when William's game ended because I had a good time there too.

Lord Jesus, as You know, Joseph is going back to school next month. I pray for Your divine protection over Joseph, and that You strengthen his health. I pray that he will adjust to the routine and learn many new things there. I pray Your favour to surround Joseph, and Your constant presence would give him shalom peace. I thank You for Your love and care towards Joseph. No evil shall befall him, no harm shall come to him, in Jesus' mighty name, amen!

To Work Or Not To Work...

Okay, finally I've made up my mind on what not to do. I had declined the full-time job that I succesfully interviewed for. Instead, I have signed up with two agencies (kiasu?) to do free-lance work, so that I may accept part-time assignments at the convenience of my own time, which may vary from full-day, to half-day, or even a-few-hours-a-day job. This is to afford me greater flexibility as Joseph has a number of appointments to keep till year-end.

Whew, I never knew a toddler's calendar could be so full. First of all, he was referred to the Child Development Clinic in June because he hasn't started speaking yet. Peadiatrician A was quite adamant that Joseph should need further assessment, while Peadiatrician B thought there wasn't any real cause for alarm as she observed that Joseph is an intelligent boy, his perceptive skills are as developed as it should be, so his expressive skills should follow soon enough. Anyway, Paediatrician B did not like to interfere in Paediatrician A's decision by telling me not to go for the appointment, while I too, see no harm in just turning up at the stipulated time, if anything, just to prove that all is well with Joseph.

In August, Joseph will see Paediatrician B, the respiratory specialist who attended to his case while he was hospitalised two months ago. Right now, his steroid inhaler's dosage had been halved, so prayerfully, at the next check-up with Dr Chng, Joseph could stop the medication altogether. Yep, looking forward to that very much, then there would be no more ringing alarms every night to remind me to let Joseph have the inhaler.

In November, Joseph has to see Paediatrician A again, the doctor who saw him since he was a neonate. By then, I'm sure Dr Lau would be assured about Joseph's delayed expressive skills, even better if I could have Joseph trained to greet him, "Hello, Doctor!" or something like that.

Besides these appointments, there are going to be a few days that the centre which Joseph attends will be closed, so I need to be around to take care of him. As keen as I am to have a full-time permanent job now, I don't think it would be fair to my employer to take so many off-days soon after commencing with the company. Thus my reasons for opting to be a free-lance agent. However, the said company, on hearing my (valid) reasons, has kindly invited me to re-apply for the post again at year-end when things are more settled with my child. The HR Dept informed me that they have plans to hire more staff next year. Alright, I will keep my eyes peeled for other opportunities besides this "ventured turf".

Lord Jesus, I pray for your guidance in my career path, and may I be sensitive to Your leading to go where You want to bless me. Thank You for Your unending love, especially in letting Joseph be found when I so carelessly lost him in Orchard Road last Thursday. I praise You and thank You, my ever faithful Lord!

Women Of Times

Nay, I wasn't going to yak about the latest Fann Wong supposedly tear-jerking drama that features her portrayal of a long-suffering wife in a very (painful to watch) one-dimensional manner. Queen/Princess of Caldecott Hill she may be, but she has yet to win over this TV/movie critic, because if her best claim to fame is looking angelic, pristine, demure, and "oh-so-sweet" most of the time in her role, I guess I would rather only see Her Royal Highness in glossy magazine advertisements. I like Fann better as a model than an actress, yes I do.

My latest favourite TV program now is... Supernanny. Alright, I concede that to most hip young adults out there, American Idol (or the like) with hunksome guys or gorgeous gals to drool over, is more the order of the day, but Supernanny is the most charismatic character on TV to me at the moment. I marvel at her professionalism and cool head, nothing seems to get her ruffled (you see her getting her fair share of scratches, kicks, punchings, or toys thrown in her face by these rascally kids) except, on the sly, an occasional raised eyebrow to the parents.

Yes, Supernanny's horrified looks are directed more at the parents, because in the first place, they should be the ones to impart values, set boundaries, and educate their young ones on what's acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.

So far, I've manged to watch three whole episodes, quite an achievement... woohooo! Every week, they succeded in convincing viewers how bratty kids can be(come) nowadays. I'd always think, while watching each episode, that surely this has captured the most incorrigible of all children, and yet what I see the the following week always tops the last one shown.

It also dawned upon me that this could be a universal phenomenon. No, I don't mean the fact that Supernanny took UK & USA by storm could spread into a worlwide phenomenon.

I thought that the beastly behaviour of these children reflect on (some of) the women of our times. How ill-equipped we can be, with our higher education, better quality of life, etc, and yet still missing it somewhere. An affluent society raising a (small?) breed of self-centred, self-inflated academics who can easily pass of arrogance as confidence, obstinate as strong-willed, rudeness as assertiveness, or whatever else.

Modern parents of today so much want to be friends with their children, they allow trespassing of their authority unknowingly. Why does my ex-colleague's teenaged daughter give her so much headache and heartache? In between her sharings you get to hear of how they (husband & wife) treated her like a mini adult from her primary school days, she gets to make her own decisions on some matters. My ex-colleague gushed proudly that her little girl showed "maturity" from a young age. Now this teenager constantly challenges her parents' decisions/opinions, does the exact opposite just to prove her point, and insists on going out at any hour of the night, claiming this is her "freedom". Hmm? Where did we go wrong?

Before I go further, I think I should mention some of Supernanny's methods. She doesn't scold, raise her voice, yell to get attention, slap/hit, or inflict pain with a cane. Remaining calm and speaking in clear, short sentences is her way of dealing with these misguided children. If a verbal warning goes unheeded and the child repeats a wrong, the next step is carried out. There would always be a naughty spot (or bench, corner, room, etc) for reflection, the guilty child is put there for a compulsory period of say, five or ten minutes. Then the reason why he/she is placed there would be repeated to the child so that he/she understands what gets him/her the "punishment". An apology is expected, if none is given, back to the "cool down" area for another five or ten minutes. The key is consistency, at no time should you decide to give another chance or slide over a wrong, otherwise the method is ineffective.

Supernanny also advocates spending quality time with the children. It helps avoid the tendency for these children to attempt to get "negative attention", by doing what they shouldn't do to get a reaction out of you.

I noticed that in most of the cases handled (so far in the three episodes that I managed to catch), it involves children aged between about four to ten years old. So what do we do with younger children who may not understand stuff like "cool down areas" or "reflection rooms"? I guess that's where the rod of correction comes in. Surely our Lord Creator did not make a mistake of "inclusion" by mentioning the use of cane, several times in the bible.

Even that, may be a cause for debate. Many may feel that it's cruel to wield a cane, especially if we ourselves grew up with that experience in our childhood. Caning, as we know it, was what our own parents "treated" us to. Who can forget those painful, repetitive hits on our arms and legs, and at times on body too?

I can only say, we have had bad examples and suffered wrong executions. It is no fault of our dads & mums either, if they did that, as they didn't know better back then (probably learnt errantly from their own parents too). Caning, as explained by Pastor, should not be carried out in a wild temper, after you had lost your cool. The "rod of anger" will not hasten the positive results you so yearn for. Caning should be done in a calm and rational manner, as opposed to maniacal (repetitive) whipping. For Joseph, we always just give him one smart hit.

In fact, Pastor reiterates that when we discipline our children from a young age, it's easier to instil discipline later on. We could then probably adopt some of Supernany's methods for our older children.

For me, watching Supernanny merely serves as a reference point. I do believe in the bible's teaching of using the rod of correction. Supernanny opens my eyes to what I do NOT want Joseph to become. Above all, it shows me that I really need the Lord's grace and given wisdom to deal fairly and correctly with my child.

My dear Jesus, I know You love Joseph far more than me. May I allow Your divine partnering in bringing up this child in the ways of the Lord, amen!

Plans And Decisions

Decisions, decisions, decisions... a job interview I went to two weeks ago yielded positive results yesterday. I was selected but I wasn't too thrilled. Why? They will not meet my expected salary, that's why. This morning I called back and told the HR staff to give me a few more days to re-consider. Besides not getting the salary I want, the job's fine, they're willing to wait till I'm ready to start work in mid-June, it's five-day week and all that, plus benefits, etc. Except that I have to run around the island, but hey, if I'm getting well-paid for my efforts, I don't mind all this travelling, it just requires some delicate balancing on my part, as I'll need to have sufficient time to drop off and pick up Joseph from the childcare centre.

Meanwhile I've got to make some fast plans, for Joseph, that is. I will need to re-enrol him for half-day school again, thence, on to full-day care the following month. William is happy to send Joseph back to centre "S" again, so I'm for it too. Okay, two weeks later, I should be able to get his paperwork done, and when he's all settled and quite happy to be with his teachers and little friends again, I will go job-a-hunting, la-la-la, if the current opening doesn't work out finally.

Lord help me, I'm a bit nervous after a two-year absence from the workforce, help me shed my self-consciousness, and trust Your hand to guide me along. You are my faithful Lord, amen!