Women Of Times

Nay, I wasn't going to yak about the latest Fann Wong supposedly tear-jerking drama that features her portrayal of a long-suffering wife in a very (painful to watch) one-dimensional manner. Queen/Princess of Caldecott Hill she may be, but she has yet to win over this TV/movie critic, because if her best claim to fame is looking angelic, pristine, demure, and "oh-so-sweet" most of the time in her role, I guess I would rather only see Her Royal Highness in glossy magazine advertisements. I like Fann better as a model than an actress, yes I do.

My latest favourite TV program now is... Supernanny. Alright, I concede that to most hip young adults out there, American Idol (or the like) with hunksome guys or gorgeous gals to drool over, is more the order of the day, but Supernanny is the most charismatic character on TV to me at the moment. I marvel at her professionalism and cool head, nothing seems to get her ruffled (you see her getting her fair share of scratches, kicks, punchings, or toys thrown in her face by these rascally kids) except, on the sly, an occasional raised eyebrow to the parents.

Yes, Supernanny's horrified looks are directed more at the parents, because in the first place, they should be the ones to impart values, set boundaries, and educate their young ones on what's acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.

So far, I've manged to watch three whole episodes, quite an achievement... woohooo! Every week, they succeded in convincing viewers how bratty kids can be(come) nowadays. I'd always think, while watching each episode, that surely this has captured the most incorrigible of all children, and yet what I see the the following week always tops the last one shown.

It also dawned upon me that this could be a universal phenomenon. No, I don't mean the fact that Supernanny took UK & USA by storm could spread into a worlwide phenomenon.

I thought that the beastly behaviour of these children reflect on (some of) the women of our times. How ill-equipped we can be, with our higher education, better quality of life, etc, and yet still missing it somewhere. An affluent society raising a (small?) breed of self-centred, self-inflated academics who can easily pass of arrogance as confidence, obstinate as strong-willed, rudeness as assertiveness, or whatever else.

Modern parents of today so much want to be friends with their children, they allow trespassing of their authority unknowingly. Why does my ex-colleague's teenaged daughter give her so much headache and heartache? In between her sharings you get to hear of how they (husband & wife) treated her like a mini adult from her primary school days, she gets to make her own decisions on some matters. My ex-colleague gushed proudly that her little girl showed "maturity" from a young age. Now this teenager constantly challenges her parents' decisions/opinions, does the exact opposite just to prove her point, and insists on going out at any hour of the night, claiming this is her "freedom". Hmm? Where did we go wrong?

Before I go further, I think I should mention some of Supernanny's methods. She doesn't scold, raise her voice, yell to get attention, slap/hit, or inflict pain with a cane. Remaining calm and speaking in clear, short sentences is her way of dealing with these misguided children. If a verbal warning goes unheeded and the child repeats a wrong, the next step is carried out. There would always be a naughty spot (or bench, corner, room, etc) for reflection, the guilty child is put there for a compulsory period of say, five or ten minutes. Then the reason why he/she is placed there would be repeated to the child so that he/she understands what gets him/her the "punishment". An apology is expected, if none is given, back to the "cool down" area for another five or ten minutes. The key is consistency, at no time should you decide to give another chance or slide over a wrong, otherwise the method is ineffective.

Supernanny also advocates spending quality time with the children. It helps avoid the tendency for these children to attempt to get "negative attention", by doing what they shouldn't do to get a reaction out of you.

I noticed that in most of the cases handled (so far in the three episodes that I managed to catch), it involves children aged between about four to ten years old. So what do we do with younger children who may not understand stuff like "cool down areas" or "reflection rooms"? I guess that's where the rod of correction comes in. Surely our Lord Creator did not make a mistake of "inclusion" by mentioning the use of cane, several times in the bible.

Even that, may be a cause for debate. Many may feel that it's cruel to wield a cane, especially if we ourselves grew up with that experience in our childhood. Caning, as we know it, was what our own parents "treated" us to. Who can forget those painful, repetitive hits on our arms and legs, and at times on body too?

I can only say, we have had bad examples and suffered wrong executions. It is no fault of our dads & mums either, if they did that, as they didn't know better back then (probably learnt errantly from their own parents too). Caning, as explained by Pastor, should not be carried out in a wild temper, after you had lost your cool. The "rod of anger" will not hasten the positive results you so yearn for. Caning should be done in a calm and rational manner, as opposed to maniacal (repetitive) whipping. For Joseph, we always just give him one smart hit.

In fact, Pastor reiterates that when we discipline our children from a young age, it's easier to instil discipline later on. We could then probably adopt some of Supernany's methods for our older children.

For me, watching Supernanny merely serves as a reference point. I do believe in the bible's teaching of using the rod of correction. Supernanny opens my eyes to what I do NOT want Joseph to become. Above all, it shows me that I really need the Lord's grace and given wisdom to deal fairly and correctly with my child.

My dear Jesus, I know You love Joseph far more than me. May I allow Your divine partnering in bringing up this child in the ways of the Lord, amen!