The Two

The two children are a little unwell. Joseph suddenly vomited twice in the morning. Needless to say, I kept him home with me as he is also coming down with a healing for his cough.

My niece Shan Shan, who is staying with us for a few weeks, is also having a mild cough. Don't really know "who" passed the bug to "who", but it doesn't really matter. I'm still debating whether to let Shan see the same paediatrician as Joseph (he happened to have an appointment tomorrow morning for follow-up on his previous illness), or just bring her to see another doctor this very afternoon. Hmm... I'd better let my sister make a decision on this. Calling her right after I finish this entry.

Yesterday, I was so proud that I made the effort to exercise. I rollerbladed for almost an hour. Where is it possible to do that in Telok Blangah? Ha ha, Poh used to try rollerblading on the rooftop of the multi-storey carpark next to our block, but I remembered she did mention that it can be very windy and at times she felt it was the wind cruising her along, not the wheels on her blades.

So, I decided not to try out the "wind power". Instead, I walked to nearby Block 60 and rollerbladed at the void deck. Whee, before I knew it, almost an hour passed, and made me realise how much I missed the sport.

Anyway, looks like I won't get the opportunity to do the same today, with the two children having a little "something". Lord Jesus, I thank You for the finished work on the cross. Thank You for the gift of healing, I claim it for these children, in Jesus' name, amen!

My First OB

Something's been on my mind for a while. I had been thinking about a group of people. A group of people who exist in, I dare say, every community. They may not necessarily be prominent, high profile types, but they are everywhere, interspersed within the corporate ladder climbers, blue collar workers, healthcare or teaching profession, they could also exist among the cashiers you meet at each of your shopping trips, or even just your next door neighbour.

Who are they? They are the singles, unattached, and not yet married people. Most times they are the brunt of cruel jokes, persecuted for being "still available" by a certain age.

I have many friends who are still single, equally in their late twenties or thirties. But they are wholesome, love life, love fun types who happened not to have met their soul mate yet. Just because you are unattached doesn't mean you are freakish. Just because you are single, you may be criticised for almost anything, even the way you dress. Too much casual or comfortable dressing will draw the remark, "No wonder he/she still got no boy/girlfriend." If you happened to dress stylishly and is well-groomed, these "persecutors" have something else to say,"Dress so nice, very desperate to hook a boy/girlfriend."

Has it been more than a decade since our dear government initiated the SDU to facilitate busy singles' in our busy lifestyle more chances of meeting up each other? I'd totally forgotten what this synonym SDU stands for because it has earned itself a more widely-used interpretation, that is, Single, Desperate & Ugly. Ooh, but a quick check on the internet reveals that it's the Social Development Unit and this government matchmaking agency is still thriving, heh heh heh!

A friend of mine some time ago signed up to go for a short retreat meant for singles only. The retreat was code-named "Ben-Gen Camp". Overheard a conversation between my friend (MF) and Someone Else (SE) among Other Friends (OF):

MF: I won't be around during (dates of camp). I'm going to Ben-Gen Camp.
OF: Oh, so you won't be around.
SE: Yah lar, hee heee ha haa...! She's going Ben-Gen Camp to look for husband lor.
MF: (silence.....)

So typical. No need to make insensitive remarks like that (it was an insensitive remark, in case you are not aware, please be aware NOW). People who make the effort to participate in singles' activities don't necessarily go for the sole purpose of finding a mate. They could make new friends and at the same time benefit from the character-building speeches that help them stay unaffected by unpleasant situations arising from their so-called "disadvantaged" position. I don't think everyone can understand the trials and frustrations of a person who has been unattached for "too long", so maybe I'll draw another parallel. If you are in the nth year of your marriage and still childless, you could very well be experiencing something similar here. Another friend of mine shared to me, she was so frustrated by the constant question (when are you gonna have a baby?) poked at her, she thought of screaming back, "I'll make a baby tonight/now!"

To my friends who are still single, if you happen to read this, know that I love you all. Just be who you are and be happy with yourself, foremost. It's okay to dress up or dress down, your absolute freedom. Finding yourself is more important than finding a mate, though eventually you will have a mate, I'm sure. There are (some) wives out there who don't really know who they are, and they exist just for their husbands (believe me, I've met those), living what I call a sublife.

This is truly my very first OB, meaning my first Offensive Blog. Why I call it that, is because I think some people may take offence for what I've written here. My dear friends, if any of you happened to have recently directed some remarks or other towards any single friends, please, I am NOT talking to you. This subject had been on my mind for a number of years, even my own sister couldn't quite understand why I felt such strong unjust for the unattached out there. So I'm just sharing my thoughts here, and as my blogsite address suggests, udunhav2agreewifme.....

This & That

Wow, I was absolutely excited about getting introduced to clinical research work. Okay, I concede, it's nothing to write home about, compared to other high-flyers out there, the jet-setters & world-shakers. Still, to me it was an eye-opener and piqued my interest no end.
I attended a half-day orientation course yesterday with three other SRNs, and we were given an overview of the processes and our roles. After that we were sounded out if this was what we expected and wanted. I don't know about the rest, but I was keen to have the exposure and hope to be able to do this for at least a year. Besides the usual care and observation of subjects (people, actually) we'll learn to do simple laboratory work, like running blood tests. Ooh, let me at 'em, muahahaha...! Hey, I am no deranged nurse, I just like to add value to my work experience record, that's all! Meanwhile, all I do now is wait... since I can't possibly take up any assignments while my niece is putting up at my place till around mid-august.

I actually am feeling quite tired today, initially didn't much want to blog but felt that my last entry was really outdated. Had a hectic weekend because of travelling to JB for my nephews' birthday, with Joseph and my niece, Shan Shan in tow (her parents are working overseas, and she's back for a holiday). I got to sample the taste of having two children and it is no joke, but I still hope somewhere in my heart that someday William will have the "inspiration" to plan for another baby. Being the only child can be very lonely, and Joseph seemed happy to have his cousin to play with now.

Anyway, I had a scrumptious dinner last night. My brother-in-law (Shan's dad) just back from working overseas, brought us out. There's a place called Curry Wok, somewhere in Bt Timah area near Nanyang Primary School. Needless to say, their speciality is Curry (fish-head, chicken) but they also serve other familiar home-style dishes like Pig's Knuckle in Black Gravy Sauce (Lor Ter Kar) , Ngor Hiang, Crispy Tofu, Peranakan Mixed Vegetables, Omellete, etc. William said that the Lor Chap (black gravy sauce) was good enough to drink on its own. He said it tastes just like his very own grandma's old recipe! As for me, I really, really need to lose weight, so I had better stop thinking about food so much. Lord Jesus, I thank You that I am an overcomer, and that I do overcome my gluttony, (a million times) amen to that!

World Cup 2010 For Me

I think this round of World Cup (WC) fever died prematurely as hot favourites like Brazil, England and Germany bowed out of the game one after another. Myself for one, did not get to watch any single match, thanks to my elevated status as A Mum.

It's alright, I look forward to the WC when Joseph will be six years old and I can get away with less sleep than what I'm currently experiencing now.

Anyway, Joseph is beginning to enjoy school more. Now he mostly allows himself to be carried/led in without a tear on his face. I have mixed feelings about that, half of me wants him to miss me, the other half wants him to settle down quickly. Ultimately, I still prefer Joseph not to bawl, as that makes it easier for me to walk away from him.

I'm glad my posting at the health screening centre is drawing to an end. My next assignment sounds more exciting, at a Clinical Research Centre! I've long wanted to be exposed in this area and I'll be doing just that next month, yippee!

My ex-colleague e-mailed something meaningful to me, so I thought I'll just share it here:

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage.They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to it fascinated by its color, and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

QUESTION :
What were the five words ?

ANSWER :
The husband just said "I am with you Darling"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead.
He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the
mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not
have happened.

No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that
moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer
problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you
will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a
relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some
warmth in human relationship...

To me right now, I don't know if I could have behaved in such exemplary manner as the
husband did in this story. Pursuing "whose fault it is" doesn't bring any solutions, it only causes
condemnation. I want to thank You Lord, that You help me grow in this area, to dispense
grace and not condemnation, to Your glory, amen!

Hello!

Welcome! To me, after an absence of.. hmmm, almost three weeks! Wow, long time no blog. Reason being, I recently started working and whatever free time in the evenings was spent on catching up doing house chores. I know this must sound foreign to the majority of people out there who have a live-in domestic help. Anyhow, I had a whole new routine to adjust to, Joseph included.

We wake at 6am, William leaves the house by 6.30am, while I was still preparing son & self to depart for school and work. By 7.10am, Joseph had been deposited at the door of the childcare, wailing loudly (sigh...!). I breakfast in the bus, stealthily munching bread, hoping that no one would accost me for this minor misdemeanour. The rule disallowing eating in buses was for maintainance of cleanliness, and I am, after all, no messy-eater. Still, I was amused to see other commuters eating their bread in the same shady manner.

I work part-time in a health screening centre in Orchard Road, with regular hours and in a posh environment... but it is not a nice place to be in. I began to understand why they had to resort to getting a locum nurse. They had failed to hire and retain a full-time staff nurse because of I believe, poor management. There is no cohesion, no team spirit instilled, everyone is for self-survival, "siam" work, sabotage each other, blame game, who's the meanest wins... welcome back to office politics - it's a jungle out there! Ha ha!

Anyway, I enjoy just being a locum, to appear at 8am and disappear at 4pm. Let them show fangs to each other, I'll have no part in it. Carry out my duties, and when it's time to knock-off, go!

The only downside for me was, tiredness at the end of the day. I had been a stay-home mum for two years, and there was never a rush to do things, like having to get Joseph out of bed so early in the morning. I had the whole day to do my chores before, now I had to do them back to back in the evenings. When Joseph cries at night and I had to get up to attend to him a few times, it became a huge burden to me now, ever since I started working. The lack of sleep and rest is giving me a short fuse. No, make that a very short fuse. Tensions arose and I quarelled with William.

Okay, I know, I know. I shouldn't have, I should be patient, I should be submissive to my husband, I shouldn't allow disharmony, and all that. I know all these, but at the moment it just happened. I would be a hypocrite to say that in all my three years of married life, things have been rosy and smooth-sailing all the time. This is not to say that we quarrel every hour of the day, or are constantly at each others' throats. All I am saying is that we do have our moments of (quoting Pastor Prince) "intense fellowship".

Living happily ever after, after the wedding bells, that doesn't exist in a real world, unless you live in Disneyland! Or maybe it does for you, then I just have to say congratulations for having found the right formula to make your marriage tick right from the start. No sarcasm here, I mean it, really.

Anyway, the Lord was good to me. I was encouraged by Abigail's sms-es and Poh Poh's recent email sharing, albeit of a slightly comical nature. When I had a real big fight with William, my care group leader, Justin said something that made me think, really think. We were supposed to have another talk with Justin soon, meanwhile I just want to sort out a few thoughts on my own first. Anyway, I am glad that next week I'll only be working three days. I would be able to have time to catch up on chores and get some rest in between, hah!

On Joseph now, he has been referred for speech therapy, yucks! I was pretty upset at first, but again my care group leader Justin, brought my focus back to Jesus' cross, which qualified us to receive all of His blessings. By all means, go for the speech therapy, he said, and let Joseph's progress astound everyone. Our own dear Pastor Prince who had been a stutterer, couldn't stop talking now. All glory to Jesus!

So that's that. I am still a growing christian, not a perfect human. No human is perfect, come to think of it, we all fall short in one way or another. Jesus, my Lord and Saviour, I lean on you, I look to you for wisdom and strength, to bring me through this life journey. In the midst of my faults, you raise me by Your grace. My sweet Lord, there is none other, no one as faithful as You. My eternal Righteousness, in You do I place my trust. Praise the Lord forevermore, amen!