My First OB

Something's been on my mind for a while. I had been thinking about a group of people. A group of people who exist in, I dare say, every community. They may not necessarily be prominent, high profile types, but they are everywhere, interspersed within the corporate ladder climbers, blue collar workers, healthcare or teaching profession, they could also exist among the cashiers you meet at each of your shopping trips, or even just your next door neighbour.

Who are they? They are the singles, unattached, and not yet married people. Most times they are the brunt of cruel jokes, persecuted for being "still available" by a certain age.

I have many friends who are still single, equally in their late twenties or thirties. But they are wholesome, love life, love fun types who happened not to have met their soul mate yet. Just because you are unattached doesn't mean you are freakish. Just because you are single, you may be criticised for almost anything, even the way you dress. Too much casual or comfortable dressing will draw the remark, "No wonder he/she still got no boy/girlfriend." If you happened to dress stylishly and is well-groomed, these "persecutors" have something else to say,"Dress so nice, very desperate to hook a boy/girlfriend."

Has it been more than a decade since our dear government initiated the SDU to facilitate busy singles' in our busy lifestyle more chances of meeting up each other? I'd totally forgotten what this synonym SDU stands for because it has earned itself a more widely-used interpretation, that is, Single, Desperate & Ugly. Ooh, but a quick check on the internet reveals that it's the Social Development Unit and this government matchmaking agency is still thriving, heh heh heh!

A friend of mine some time ago signed up to go for a short retreat meant for singles only. The retreat was code-named "Ben-Gen Camp". Overheard a conversation between my friend (MF) and Someone Else (SE) among Other Friends (OF):

MF: I won't be around during (dates of camp). I'm going to Ben-Gen Camp.
OF: Oh, so you won't be around.
SE: Yah lar, hee heee ha haa...! She's going Ben-Gen Camp to look for husband lor.
MF: (silence.....)

So typical. No need to make insensitive remarks like that (it was an insensitive remark, in case you are not aware, please be aware NOW). People who make the effort to participate in singles' activities don't necessarily go for the sole purpose of finding a mate. They could make new friends and at the same time benefit from the character-building speeches that help them stay unaffected by unpleasant situations arising from their so-called "disadvantaged" position. I don't think everyone can understand the trials and frustrations of a person who has been unattached for "too long", so maybe I'll draw another parallel. If you are in the nth year of your marriage and still childless, you could very well be experiencing something similar here. Another friend of mine shared to me, she was so frustrated by the constant question (when are you gonna have a baby?) poked at her, she thought of screaming back, "I'll make a baby tonight/now!"

To my friends who are still single, if you happen to read this, know that I love you all. Just be who you are and be happy with yourself, foremost. It's okay to dress up or dress down, your absolute freedom. Finding yourself is more important than finding a mate, though eventually you will have a mate, I'm sure. There are (some) wives out there who don't really know who they are, and they exist just for their husbands (believe me, I've met those), living what I call a sublife.

This is truly my very first OB, meaning my first Offensive Blog. Why I call it that, is because I think some people may take offence for what I've written here. My dear friends, if any of you happened to have recently directed some remarks or other towards any single friends, please, I am NOT talking to you. This subject had been on my mind for a number of years, even my own sister couldn't quite understand why I felt such strong unjust for the unattached out there. So I'm just sharing my thoughts here, and as my blogsite address suggests, udunhav2agreewifme.....