The Baby Is Asleep

The baby is asleep. Yes, Joseph often drifts off to dreamland right after finishing his last milk feed. By then, William is usually already in bed, lying flat with his mouth open. Hey, I'm happy to see that, really, because it's a sign that he is in Stage Four of Sleep, so soundly that he will only awaken if I jump on him, landing with my elbow smack in his middle, WWF-style.

Tonight though, I won't get to see William's oral cavity. He is not here. He is away in Jakarta, Indonesia with his superior and colleagues, and will only be back on Friday night. I guess I do miss him. I don't think my eyes watered because I yawned... because I didn't yawn. It is the first time William went away after we got married.

We were married in May 2003. A year later, in June 2004, Joseph was born. I stopped working and became a stay-home mum. Wait, I did not stop working. By choosing to be a stay-home mum, I actually traded my 8-hour-work for a 24-hour-on-call-job. No income, no raise, no bonus, no leave, no off-duty! So what do I get?

I get to watch my son grow. I am the first person to see his every milestone. First smile, first turn, first crawl. Once, when Joseph was about 15 months old, he did an amusing thing. He stood near the table-fan in my study, and turned his head slowly from side to side, repeatedly. I was puzzled at first, then I noticed he watched the fan as he did that. He was immitating the oscillating action! When the fan turned away from him, he did the same, and when the fan turned towards him, he turned back too and smiled at the fan. This occasional "game" persisted only for a couple of months, and even William didn't get to see it.

Yesterday I received a message from a recruit agency, again. They have been trying to job-match me (ever since Joseph was about 4 months old!), although I mentioned I am a full-time mother, and will not be in need of their services. I must admit, on rare occasions I did feel a slight pull. In my mind's eye, I pictured myself re-entering the work force, being a useful citizen, contributing to society again. Then I stopped-short. Hey! What am I saying? I am a useful citizen, and I am contributing to society! Only, not in the way that conforms to the general viewpoint of the masses. People often wrongly perceive the mother's role as insignificant and unimportant, baby-sitting is best left to those who don't have the qualifications to carve out a successful career for themselves.

In a society that is highly dependent on maids to fill the domestic role, stay-home mums sometimes bear the brunt of being looked upon with disdain. Maids, with their low pay and even lower education, is doing what most women would not give up their jobs for.

I beg to differ. I am a trained nurse by profession. Will I leave my child in the hands of a maid and render care to others instead? A resounding no! A maid can bathe, clothe and feed your baby, but she will never hug and kiss him the way you would, with love. Call me soppy, softie or whatever, but I'm sure the clear message my son gets when he grows older is - he matters a great deal to me!

Ooh..! William just called from Jakarta! I am happy to hear his voice, very happy! I love him! Dear Lord Jesus, grant William plenty of wisdom and favour on this trip. Thank You for your protection, and I love you too, Lord!